It’s common to equate sexual prowess with sexual stamina — although, amazing-and-short sex is almost always preferable to awful-but-long banging. Most people might not want to admit that they couldn’t make it past the five minute mark, but research shows almost half of men orgasm in two minutes or less.
1. Have him masturbate beforehand. If you've seen There's Something About Mary,
you know that having sex without masturbating is "like going out there
with a loaded gun." Ejaculating an hour or two beforehand makes it
harder for a man to come quickly. As Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert
and family therapist, puts it, "You can build up arousal again with
slow and intimate foreplay with your partner, so the guy's excitement is
initially satisfied and he can better pace himself and sync up with his
partner's rhythm."
2. Take advantage of men’s refractory period. Who says sex needs to be limited to just one session? This one won’t work for everyone, but marriage therapist Lisa Thomas recommends
starting things up again a few minutes after he ejaculates. “Many men
experience less sensitivity during the second erection,” Thomas
explains. As long as you don’t mind waiting the few minutes (or
switching back to foreplay), and he can get it up relatively quickly,
you should have better results in round two.
3. Try something new and out of the ordinary in bed. When
you've been with the same partner for a while, your routine sex
positions can make his body anticipate coming, and thus come a lot
sooner. New positions and sensations will distract him and make him last
longer. "The more awkward and unfamiliar, the better," says Greer.
4. Try edging. When
he's about to orgasm, have him stop and wait about a minute or so
before going back at it. Everyone has an orgasmic point of no return, an
"ejaculatory inevitability" as sex researcher Dr. Ian Kerner puts it. Edging trains his body to delay that point so he can spend more time on the edge (and more time pleasing you).
5. Squeeze the base of his penis. This is an old one that comes courtesy of sex researchers Masters and Johnson. You
can do this with your hand or using a cock ring. It quite literally
stops him from ejaculating. Think of it like bending a hose in half to
stop the flow of water, but definitely do not bend his penis in half
under any circumstances. Just give it a firm grip.
6. Have him do kegels, yoga, and pilates. All
of these exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which help him
control orgasm spasms. (And yeah, dudes can do kegels too).
7. Try perpendicular sex positions. This
is technically an outercourse position, but it's a way to avoid the
most sensitive areas of the penis (specifically, the underside of the
head, where a lot of the nerves are located). "Don't actually enter her,
but let her glide back and forth along the top of the shaft," says
Kerner. Spoon or face each other on your sides, and it can still be
enjoyable without making him rush to orgasm.
8. Medicate. In some situations, your partner may want to consider seeing a doctor. A variety of prescriptions
are available if premature ejaculation is a serious issue that's
negatively affecting your relationship. And while there are
over-the-counter supplements that tout their ability to improve a guy’s
stamina, your best bet is to go through someone that knows what they’re
talking about. Guys can check in with a urologist to see what the issue
is and what steps can be taken. And as a general idea, it’s best to
avoid supplements you can buy at a gas station.
9. Grab thicker condoms. You should always practice safe sex, so just switch up your condom purchases and instead get your partner something a little thicker (and if for whatever reason you aren’t using condoms, using one will probably dull sensations for him as well as keep you both protected). Keep in mind that it’s still important to make sure you find something that fits right for him. And never double-up on condoms. Double-bagging can lead to issues, like say, losing two condoms in your vagina. And as sex expert Emily Morse explains to Men’s Health, condoms can slip-on and act as a “desensitizer.”
9. Grab thicker condoms. You should always practice safe sex, so just switch up your condom purchases and instead get your partner something a little thicker (and if for whatever reason you aren’t using condoms, using one will probably dull sensations for him as well as keep you both protected). Keep in mind that it’s still important to make sure you find something that fits right for him. And never double-up on condoms. Double-bagging can lead to issues, like say, losing two condoms in your vagina. And as sex expert Emily Morse explains to Men’s Health, condoms can slip-on and act as a “desensitizer.”
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